worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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