I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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