Sry I called you an 8
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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