No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
