I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
