just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
