How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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