Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
