yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
