I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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