I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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