Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
