This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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