Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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