Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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