the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
