i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
