I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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