I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
