I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
