if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
