look no pants
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
