Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
