did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
