He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
