There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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