Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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