she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
high people should be assigned attendants
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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