I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
