So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
