The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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