as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
