"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I want her autograph on my taint
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
