K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
