If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
