I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
