this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
