so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
