dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
