Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
