rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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