Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i will never coherently bang her
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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