Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
