So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is Oprah even human
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
