it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
