I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
