No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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