oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
