Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
