Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
